jaeclectic (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jaeclectic) wrote2006-06-11 10:49 am
jaeclectic) wrote2006-06-11 10:49 am
Entry tags:
right, wrong, indifferent
It would be nice, at this stage, to be feeling enthusiastic, or at least predominantly relieved. Instead I am still weepy, and dreading having to talk to people who will logically expect me to be all excited because buying a place is exciting, right?
In somewhat good news: I feel only tiny minor pangs of regret over letting the place on Lakeshore go, so that seems like the right decision.
I've been continuing to play around with figuring out furniture arrangement in the place on Orange, and I'm definitely much happier with the layout there. When I think about the space itself, I feel fine. There's just petty stuff around the edges like the weird hyper-paranoid building security that jangles me.
What it seems to come down to is something like this: Part of what made me want to buy was a desire to feel settled. Not that, logically, there aren't many other factors that will effect what I may choose to do over the next few years, but I wanted to be living in a space where I felt I could stay a while, the next five years maybe.
The place on Lakeshore wasn't that place, but seemed like a place I could land for a couple of years, and it would be easy to sell when I wanted to move on. The place on Orange is a space that I like better in many ways, but it still feels like a temporary landing place, not my (quasi-)permanent home. And it may not be all that easy to sell when I want to move on, hard to say.
So I have this sense of loss over the feeling of home that I had hoped to find.
Plus the nagging worry that it's not a smart financial decision, especially and exactly in the context of probably wanting to move again in a couple of years.
Which leaves me hoping for a delayed wave of enthusiasm. Because I just don't want to face the prospect of backing out of this deal, too, and then having to cope with all that entails.
In somewhat good news: I feel only tiny minor pangs of regret over letting the place on Lakeshore go, so that seems like the right decision.
I've been continuing to play around with figuring out furniture arrangement in the place on Orange, and I'm definitely much happier with the layout there. When I think about the space itself, I feel fine. There's just petty stuff around the edges like the weird hyper-paranoid building security that jangles me.
What it seems to come down to is something like this: Part of what made me want to buy was a desire to feel settled. Not that, logically, there aren't many other factors that will effect what I may choose to do over the next few years, but I wanted to be living in a space where I felt I could stay a while, the next five years maybe.
The place on Lakeshore wasn't that place, but seemed like a place I could land for a couple of years, and it would be easy to sell when I wanted to move on. The place on Orange is a space that I like better in many ways, but it still feels like a temporary landing place, not my (quasi-)permanent home. And it may not be all that easy to sell when I want to move on, hard to say.
So I have this sense of loss over the feeling of home that I had hoped to find.
Plus the nagging worry that it's not a smart financial decision, especially and exactly in the context of probably wanting to move again in a couple of years.
Which leaves me hoping for a delayed wave of enthusiasm. Because I just don't want to face the prospect of backing out of this deal, too, and then having to cope with all that entails.