impatience
Dec. 11th, 2003 06:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jaeclecticSo about this crush thing, I know from experience that I tend to be way too impatient in these situations. I just can't deal with spending weeks or months listening closely and watching for signs. I want to know right now: Are you single? Are you interested in me? Wanna go out tonight?
But of course I am way too chicken to just ask those questions.
So I flirt in ways that may or may not be obvious, and I listen closely and watch for signs. But I also keep thinking about ways to push things along. Even though historically this has rarely* worked well, and my common sense tells me I should just be patient. It's kind of like picking at a scab. I know I should stop, it's going to hurt soon, but I -just- -can't- -stop-.
There is one rational element to all of this, which is the following reasoning: If whichever person would happen to be interested in me, they are probably wondering the same things and also too chicken to just ask. In which case it would not be such a bad thing if I make myself clear.
So anyway, here is what I am thinking about. My last day at Sun (at least this year) is next Wednesday. So maybe I send him an email wishing him a happy holiday. And maybe take the opportunity to mention how much I've enjoyed meeting him, and invite him to stay in touch (regardless of the outcome of my contract negotiations), and give him my personal email, maybe even go so far as to suggest we might meet for a drink sometime...
And if it turns out that he's married and has 7 kids, or doesn't go for girls, or thinks I'm a hideous hag, then all he has to do is ignore it. And I won't see him until January (if ever) and at that point, if he never mentions it, neither will I. And I'll be very disappointed but at least I can stop picking at the damn scab.
What do you think? Does that sound totally stupid?
*the notable exception was when I handed a poem to Libby, that worked great, at least until she went back to her old girlfriend a few months later...
But of course I am way too chicken to just ask those questions.
So I flirt in ways that may or may not be obvious, and I listen closely and watch for signs. But I also keep thinking about ways to push things along. Even though historically this has rarely* worked well, and my common sense tells me I should just be patient. It's kind of like picking at a scab. I know I should stop, it's going to hurt soon, but I -just- -can't- -stop-.
There is one rational element to all of this, which is the following reasoning: If whichever person would happen to be interested in me, they are probably wondering the same things and also too chicken to just ask. In which case it would not be such a bad thing if I make myself clear.
So anyway, here is what I am thinking about. My last day at Sun (at least this year) is next Wednesday. So maybe I send him an email wishing him a happy holiday. And maybe take the opportunity to mention how much I've enjoyed meeting him, and invite him to stay in touch (regardless of the outcome of my contract negotiations), and give him my personal email, maybe even go so far as to suggest we might meet for a drink sometime...
And if it turns out that he's married and has 7 kids, or doesn't go for girls, or thinks I'm a hideous hag, then all he has to do is ignore it. And I won't see him until January (if ever) and at that point, if he never mentions it, neither will I. And I'll be very disappointed but at least I can stop picking at the damn scab.
What do you think? Does that sound totally stupid?
*the notable exception was when I handed a poem to Libby, that worked great, at least until she went back to her old girlfriend a few months later...
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no subject
Date: 2003-12-12 06:01 pm (UTC)Still leaning toward some kind of parting shot on Wednesday, but debating how (in)direct to be.