crush (yes still)

[jaeclectic]

Writing about the crush makes me feel very Lemony Snicket: I just want to say, don't read this, go do something more pleasant and interesting.

Nevertheless, here I go...

Over the past couple of weeks I have been feeling like I am past the worst of it, since although extraordinarily persistent I can be worn down by consistent non-response.

And then when I saw him last Friday -- well, it was a very bad day, and my interaction with him was no better than the rest of it -- so I really walked away thinking: I just need to calm down, get my brain under control, stop squandering emotional energy, and above all stop making a fool of myself.

But then today I had a bunch of little questions for him, and I was in Menlo Park and guessed he would be too, and so I stopped to see him... and had a lovely, pleasant interaction. He was pleased to see me and talked at some length about what a bad day he had been having on Friday, and how some aspects of things at work had gotten better since then. And then we went through the work items in 5 minutes, and then sat and chatted for another 15 minutes about non-work related stuff like restaurants and wine and the price of housing in the Bay Area, until I had to run off (late) to my next meeting.

So I still think I am probably past the worst of it. But at this moment I feel very, very wistful.

Because I really do like him a lot. And he obviously likes me too, just not in any way that makes him eager to move it beyond the boundary of the workplace.