still with the crush

[jaeclectic]

This week, I wanted to talk to The Guy -- I mean, I had a legitimate work-related reason to talk to him, albeit nothing urgent, but aside from that I just wanted to talk to him -- and he wasn't in Menlo on Tuesday or in SF today and he didn't reply to either of two emails. Which is trivial and unimportant and suggests that he's having a busy week.

Except that I am all sad and disappointed and dejected. And thinking things like: if he liked me, he would answer my emails, because it would matter to him and he would notice them and want to answer even if just to say "I'm so busy I can't talk right now". And then berating myself for being so stupid and self-centered and juvenile.

Because I already know better. I know that this matters to me but doesn't even exist for him. I already know that.

Comments

[eac.livejournal.com]

Not quite sure yet; probably right around May 1...