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jaeclecticI am feeling very grumpy right now, which is noteworthy only because it has not been the norm of late.
Contributing factors:
- Physical tireness; possibily fighting a cold, definitely hemorrhaging.
- Anticipation of major dental work starting next week.
- A rough week at work. Not the kind where bad things happen, just the kind where you are asked to do the scoping for a new project, and the time spent on that exercise puts you a bit further behind the curve on the two projects you're already working on, and you are overwhelmed with anxiety and futility because there is too much work to possibly get done, and your attention is so fragmented there's no sense of progress on anything. You know the kind I mean?
- A slight weight gain (or to be more specific, may have gained back a fraction of weight recently lost), coincident with a couple of days when I did not limit my eating as well as I want to. Rationally, I know that I should not fret about this, it's all part of the process, I just need to put it behind me and get back on track. But in my current frame of mind I feel like I've failed and I'm doomed.
Hopefully the weekend will be restful and at least the tiredness factor will be eliminated.
Update:
Forgot one earlier grumpiness factor, which was:
- In an otherwise interesting thread on one of my professional mailing lists, there was a post from someone who essentially said she wouldn't consider hiring someone who didn't blog on design and/or have outside projects to use as portfolio pieces, because people who are passionate about design always have those kinds of projects. This made me feel rather inadequate, and reminded me that I have been neglecting my professional development-type activities. It also really pissed me off: so because I like having a life and have interests outside of work and actually prefer NOT to think about my job 24-7, I am by definition not passionate enough about my work to be worth hiring? F you, lady!
Then, this evening:
For the second time in a row, I was late for a Friday evening massage appointment because I forgot. Just. Plain. Forgot. This is completely and utterly unlike me.
On the first occasion, which was two weeks ago, I was at the office, and traffic was horrific so I just stayed late, and then I looked at the clock at five before seven, and thought ohshitohshitohshit I am supposed to be in Oakland by 7:15 and the traffic is still bad and therefore I'm still more than an hour away.
Tonight, I left the office at 5:30, got home at 6:30, wrote the first part of this post, and sat in the armchair with a beer until 7:30 when L called my cell phone. I had even put the appointment on my work calendar so I would be looking at it during the day, but I still forgot.
Whatever is happening to my brain? *sigh*
Contributing factors:
- Physical tireness; possibily fighting a cold, definitely hemorrhaging.
- Anticipation of major dental work starting next week.
- A rough week at work. Not the kind where bad things happen, just the kind where you are asked to do the scoping for a new project, and the time spent on that exercise puts you a bit further behind the curve on the two projects you're already working on, and you are overwhelmed with anxiety and futility because there is too much work to possibly get done, and your attention is so fragmented there's no sense of progress on anything. You know the kind I mean?
- A slight weight gain (or to be more specific, may have gained back a fraction of weight recently lost), coincident with a couple of days when I did not limit my eating as well as I want to. Rationally, I know that I should not fret about this, it's all part of the process, I just need to put it behind me and get back on track. But in my current frame of mind I feel like I've failed and I'm doomed.
Hopefully the weekend will be restful and at least the tiredness factor will be eliminated.
Update:
Forgot one earlier grumpiness factor, which was:
- In an otherwise interesting thread on one of my professional mailing lists, there was a post from someone who essentially said she wouldn't consider hiring someone who didn't blog on design and/or have outside projects to use as portfolio pieces, because people who are passionate about design always have those kinds of projects. This made me feel rather inadequate, and reminded me that I have been neglecting my professional development-type activities. It also really pissed me off: so because I like having a life and have interests outside of work and actually prefer NOT to think about my job 24-7, I am by definition not passionate enough about my work to be worth hiring? F you, lady!
Then, this evening:
For the second time in a row, I was late for a Friday evening massage appointment because I forgot. Just. Plain. Forgot. This is completely and utterly unlike me.
On the first occasion, which was two weeks ago, I was at the office, and traffic was horrific so I just stayed late, and then I looked at the clock at five before seven, and thought ohshitohshitohshit I am supposed to be in Oakland by 7:15 and the traffic is still bad and therefore I'm still more than an hour away.
Tonight, I left the office at 5:30, got home at 6:30, wrote the first part of this post, and sat in the armchair with a beer until 7:30 when L called my cell phone. I had even put the appointment on my work calendar so I would be looking at it during the day, but I still forgot.
Whatever is happening to my brain? *sigh*